The family I grew up in is a spiritual family. My mother ran a monthly meditation group. So from a very young age, I grew up listening to spiritual leaders. Deep thinkers, philosophers, yogis, gurus...When I was 13, we had someone from the Brahma Kumaris coming to my house to give a talk about Rajyoga Meditation. I still remember, there was something about her that I recognised and I liked. There was a certain serenity about her which was very captivating. And she talked about this place called Mount Abu and its significance. I thought to myself, I am going to go there when I grow up. At that time I was too young to travel. Then I forgot about that. Then, when I was 14 or 15, I started getting a strong impulse to find a man who was wearing white and had a moustache. I didn’t know who he was, what he was, but I thought I should find this man. I didn’t see a photograph of this person, nothing. It was just a feeling. That’s all. We in the west, don’t wear white that much. So I thought he must be a doctor, or an osteopath who give massages. So I got my mom to take me to different osteopaths, I would even stop people on the street and check whether they have a moustache. And I would ask them questions – ‘Excuse me, who are you, what are you doing, etc.’ I had to find this person.

Eventually I finished my formal education, and I decided to travel the world. Till now I was not able to find this person, I was determined to go around the world and look for him. Towards that end, I worked a morning job and I worked an evening job until I made enough money to buy a ticket to travel round the world. I packed a rucksack and went around the world to look for this person. I went around Sri Lanka, then I went to Malaysia. I was in a bookshop in Malaysia, and there I found a magazine called ‘The Confluence’ in which I found a cartoon picture of a man, on his head was a spring and on top of the spring was a point of light. In that moment, I had a sudden realisation that I am not this body. That feeling was so strong that I could feel angels coming around me and I felt that something special is happening to me. God is calling me, angels are calling me. In the back of the magazine it was written - free meditation course of 7 days. Okay, nothing to lose. So I made an appointment. I also brought a copy of bible because I thought God was trying to speak to me. So be ready with a bible, because I was from a Christian background.

The next day I went to this meditation centre, I walked through a garden, with bananas and other tropical plants, stood in front of a door and was greeted by a beautiful soul in a Chinese body. She said, ‘Welcome’ in the sweetest possible manner, I took a step in, and on the wall was a photo of a man in white with a white moustache. And I asked, ‘Who is this?’ And she said, ‘We will talk about him later’. First let us...’ ‘No no no’ – I quipped in – ‘I need to know. Who’s this?’ And she said He is the founder of the Brahma Kumaris. Okay. Then I did the 7 days course, then started attending regular classes, then we had Rakshabandhan celebration in Singapore, then within two weeks I was wearing a white Saree and living with one of the sisters in the centre. And that was it. My search was over.

Of course, my logical mind questioned the time cycle, because in the west the concept of time always have been linear. Nobody had told me that time could be cyclic. The Darwins theory, everything is so linear. Then you come to an eastern country and suddenly you are told that time is cyclic. In hindi, the sound for tomorrow is same as the sound for yesterday. As timeis cyclic, yesterday becomes tomorrow. If i scratch my nose now, I will repeat that in the next cycle. Whatever action I do, it will become an eternal action. Thinking about this, I could hardly move. But the thing that pulled me strongly was the love for Brahma Baba - the man with the moustache.

In my whole journey as a Brahma kumari, I have felt him so close, listening, guiding, touching me with a thought, leading the way. And I am extremely grateful for that, it’s a wonderful experience being guided by the master of all angels.

Philippa Blackham 
Core TEAM Member, 
UK Media and Communications Editor, 
THE LIGHTHOUSE UK