For the past 40 years, I've been a Rajyogi. I was a filmmaker, exploring theater, television, and film across Australia, Great Britain, and Hollywood. Growing up in a medical family, I followed my creative calling, encouraged by my progressive parents. At 21, I moved to London, eager to immerse myself in the arts.  I booked an accommodation and a club and stayed there and then I got work.

I started with technical production and was fortunate enough to attend the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art.  I worked on some Coca-Cola commercials that won the Silver and Gold Lion Awards at Cannes. I edited documentaries, and  even edited a Disney special. Ultimately, I've discovered that true success lies in the art of being authentic and true to oneself.

I came to RajaYoga in Los Angeles when I was making a horror movie for Universal Pictures. There I had a spiritual awakening. I actually did not like working on horror movies.

At the time, I was a staunch atheist, deeply cynical about spirituality. A friend of my mother’s, Brian Bacon, was visiting from the Raja Yoga center and reached out. I picked him up for lunch, and he invited me to join a meditation session.

Skeptical, I sat aside alone while they meditated. But as the music played, I was unexpectedly pulled into a profound experience, feeling as if I floated in pure light. When the session ended, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted within me.

I spent the day with Brian, captivated by his insights. A week later, I received an invitation from a sister at the Rajyoga center, Ellen Josephs, for dinner. I hesitantly agreed, wanting to keep the conversation casual, yet I found myself drawn to her wisdom about karma, which helped me make sense of my struggles.

But when someone new came to the center and challenged my beliefs, I decided to leave, vowing to cut ties. As I drove home, heaviness enveloped me. Exhausted, I lay down fully clothed and unexpectedly entered a trance state. And I slept for one hour and at midnight I was awake. I was fully alert and it was like the vibration in my house had changed and I was drawn to go and sit on the floor. I sat on the floor, my back was completely unsupported, I sat cross-legged. It was midnight and I was pulled into trance and someone was speaking to me. It was an auditory trance experience and I could hear it so clear.

And I could hear this voice and then it slowed down and it was my voice. It was the voice of my subconscious asking questions to this whoever who was speaking to me.  All these questions that I wasn't even aware of, came out from my subconscious. They are going to sound like ridiculous questions, but it was stuff I'd simply unconsciously picked up from BK. And I was saying, I was asking, why do I have to be celibate? No one told me I had to be celibate. No one told me I had to do anything. They didn't tell me anything. I was threatened by this celibacy thing as I was married. I asked this voice to give an answer “Yes” the voice answered me.

This voice said if you do that, that is 65% of you gone and I was shown a movie of myself and I was shown some of my own flaws and I could see them so clearly and I had such distaste for that behaviour in myself.  I felt it in every cell of my body, I'm never going to do that again. And it was a subtle behaviour.I came out of that 10 hours later. It was 10 o'clock in the morning.

For ten hours, I was pulled into deep introspection, hearing my subconscious voice asking questions about my life and choices.

Over the next three weeks, I entered this trance every night, experiencing heightened awareness and clarity unlike anything I had known before.

One day at work, my producer called me into his office, describing it as being full of “alligators.” As I sat with him, I instinctively began giving him Drishti—something I didn’t even know I was doing. And I didn't know about the BKs and the Drishti at all. I watched his aura transform from murky to vibrant colors, reflecting his newfound calm.  Eventually, I realized I was in a state of super-sensuous joy. Yet, as this euphoric phase ended, my analytical mind returned, and I struggled with my experience. I was confronted by the possibility of something greater, something I had previously denied. 

Shortly after, Sister Denise invited me to dinner with Sister Jayanti, who had been a comforting presence. I shared my journey with her, unsure of what it all meant. She encouraged me to reflect on it, and I realized how far I’d come—from a hardened atheist to someone who had experienced profound love and connection. In that moment, I felt truly captivated and embraced by a sense of purpose, embarking on a new spiritual path I never anticipated.

Judith Pemell 
Filmmaker, Author 
Brahma Kumaris, Australia