By: BK Aruna Ladva
Source: The Daily Guardian 
Dated: June 7th, 2025

All of us have to face tough situations some time in our lives. It all depends on what we consider ‘tough’ to be. For some it could be an illness, for some it could be a broken relationship, for some it could be losing a job or not getting the ‘dream’ job, for some it could be death of a loved one – but for some across our world right now, tough is in another league altogether.

What is it that helps us through tough times? Those who are able to meet difficult and challenging situations are strong and determined. They take action head on, rather than giving up. Where does the strength and determination come from? When the going gets tough, we need mental and spiritual toughness to keep on going. There is a difference between mental toughness and spiritual toughness. Mental strength is often about how you handle challenges and spiritual strength is often about why you decide to face and handle them.

Mental strength is about discipline, positive self-talk, and endurance with a determined mindset. Spiritual strength is about your deeper purpose in life, the foundation of your beliefs, convictions, and faith.

Mental toughness – needs the ability to manage thoughts and emotions, because emotions trigger behaviour. It requires building an inner immune system. Those who have mental strength are disciplined, have self-control, speak to themselves with positivity and optimism, handle all kinds of stress better, manage their fears and failures, and these abilities endure, they are consistent over long periods of time. 

Spiritual toughness – is about developing an inner strength connected to something greater than the self – one’s values, faith, a higher power. It is an awareness that one is more than a physical body and its limitations; that consciousness, the soul, has far greater power than the physical, and one is not limited by the body, the mind, and the senses. Those who have developed this kind of strength carry a great sense of peace, life to them has deep meaning, they have an inner calm during chaos. They are moved by their generous hearts full of forgiveness, compassion, humility. They are those who give moral and ethical guidance by demonstrating and living these principles.

Between the mental and the spiritual is emotion. Emotional resilience is deeply connected to both and is the ability to adapt to stress, setbacks, and emotional pain without becoming overwhelmed, and to bounce back stronger from adversity. This is essential because we feel before we think. Our survival system reacts before logic kicks in. When we are able to think clearly, we can reframe what is happening, give the benefit of doubt, find reasons for what is happening or the behaviour of someone – we are then far less emotionally affected and less likely to ‘react’.

Another aspect of emotional resilience is to dis-identify with the emotion. This is not denial. To say ‘I feel anger’ is very different to saying ‘I’m angry!’ As an observer of the emotion, we recognise that the emotion is not me – and then it is easier to deal with. 

Most of us avoid emotional discomfort, we avoid the pain. We do this by delving into our devices, eating as escapism, and find a myriad of distractions. We keep making excuses for not looking at what is going on inside. If we have the courage to sit with uncomfortable feelings, dis-identify and let the pain come and then subside, we can turn a tiger into a paper tiger and feel immensely gratified for having taken the time and finding the courage and strength to do so.

We build emotional resilience through that kind of self-awareness and by regulating our emotions so that they do not control our actions. We develop a flexible mindset and are able to adjust our plans or modify our wishes. We stay connected with what really matters, what is the most important belief and conviction that keeps us moving forward.

Meditation helps us to create a new awareness and consciously let go of old emotional habit patterns. When, in meditation, we expose the self to the Supreme source of spiritual light, we can see very clearly, but more importantly, absorb the power to deal with what we see.

Tough times will come and they will go, but it is always good to remember the observation made in a children’s book, ‘Winnie the Pooh’: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think”.

BK Aruna Ladva is an author
and Rajyoga meditation teacher based at the Global Retreat Centre, Oxford, UK.