By: Mike George 
Source: The Daily Guardian https://epaper.thedailyguardian.com/view/2853/the-daily-guardian/15
Dated: August 16th, 2025

Are you a needy person?  Until we fully realise who we really are, and live our lives in that understanding, we will likely be ‘needy’ in the company of others. Neediness is largely a subconscious habit, deeply ingrained in our personalities, that we have created over time. It is often conditioned early in our lives by parents or the absence of parents, or perhaps some traumatic event. It is an attempt to fill a hole in our personality, or character, from the outside in, when in fact it can only be healed by internal realisation and experience. 

There are always two energies at play – the soul (spiritual) and the body (material). The soul has two authentic needs, often seen as purpose; to realise itself and to be ‘useful’ to someone or something in this material world. The soul, in its early incarnations, had no desires, because it was fully realised. Gradually, as we became more and more focussed on the material world, we began to develop desires, many of which we now attempt to justify as needs.

Our body has basic needs of food, water, and shelter, for which the soul, as the carer, is the supplier. As the soul identifies more and more with the body, believing itself to be the body, the material desires gradually increase. Also justified by often calling them needs. But do I really need a new gadget if the old one is working perfectly well? Do I really need a new BMW if the car I have is comfortable and performing well? Do I need or do I want?

We eventually realise that the healing and the freedom of the soul depends on the ending of neediness and the cessation of desire. But it is a freedom that has to be ‘felt’ deeply by the self, through the realisation that all I need is to be found within. Summed up as; “I am trapped in satisfying my apparent neediness until I don’t need”.   

• I need to be respected until I realise my own self-respect is intrinsic to the self.
• I need to be at peace, until I realise that peace is my core nature, I am peace.
• I need to be accepted as I am until I realise that self-acceptance frees me from the neediness of others’ acceptance.
• I need learned beliefs from others on which to base my security and stability until I realise the truth for myself. Belief is not the truth. Truth cannot be captured by words and concepts.
• I need to be loved until I realise that I am love. I can only know that when I give it, at all times, in all ways.
• I need company until I realise I am perfectly OK alone. Then the fear of loneliness disappears. We always have company; in our own minds, or with others. We all need to spend time alone to discover what is going on inside. When being with the self is enough, we can be alone or with others and remain free.
• I need to be materially successful until I realise that my sense of self-worth is not dependent on how others see me. 
• I need to be and feel humble. But real humility cannot be developed as long as I identify with my roles, position, and belongings etc. thereby creating the ego. When the ego ceases, only then can real humility arise.
• I need to be the centre of other people’s attention until I have the realisation that self-esteem and self-value arise from the inside out.
• I need to have opinions until there is the realisation that opinions are simply points of view that are constantly changing. They are neither right nor wrong, and never final, they are just points of view. Don’t get trapped in your own opinion.

Everyone has some form of neediness. The types and levels simply vary from person to person. They signify a dependency on something from ‘outside in’ and therefore a vulnerability within the consciousness. They are not right or wrong, good or bad, but serve as obstacles on the path to self-realisation and the internal freedom that is the intrinsic and original condition of the soul. The most effective way to raise awareness and eliminate any neediness is through the practice of meditation and contemplation.

Mike George is an author of 16 books on self-awareness, 
spiritual intelligence, and personal ‘undevelopment’. 
To subscribe to Clear Thinking, go to www.relax7.com