The complexities of karmic relationships often trace their roots back to the seemingly simple experiences of childhood, particularly the experience of unmet needs. We will deep dive into how these early experiences shape our adult characters and relationships dynamics revealing a pathway to self-awareness and healing.

Two Sides of the Karmic Coin

When a child's needs go unmet, it often creates a karmic pattern that guides their future relationships. This pattern can manifest in two opposing ways.

The Needy Seeker(The Internalizer or The Yin): This is the child who felt rejected and is now constantly seeking love at any price. They internalize events, feeling "deeply wounded" by normal relationship shifts (like a best friend moving on), perceiving it as a rejection. For them, this reactive, wounded behavior seems "normal". This person will look for the solution within themselves first.

The Assertive Externalizer (The Yang): This person might also stem from a similar situation but reacts by becoming forthright and assertive, readily discarding relationships that don't meet their demands. They project outwards, often playing the blame game or putting responsibility onto others. They are generally the least interested in self reflection and change, simply believing the "solution is out there".

This dynamic between the yin (internalizer, inner and reflective) and yang (externalizer, forthright and masculine) types, noting that both are rooted in early life, perhaps even pre birth, forming a karmic bondage that impacts our compatibility and reactions to one another.

From Unawareness to Awakening

Most people are simply dealing with immediate relationship situations, unaware that the root cause lies in childhood trauma, sometimes as early as being an infant whose cry for help went unanswered. For the child, and even the adult, this learned behavioris accepted as the norm because they lack the ability to compare it to anything different. The real key to change is awareness. If you're not clear you're unwell, you won't go to the doctor. The journey starts with the realization that "something is missing or needs to be addressed" the acceptance of a current wound or an unmet need.

The Solution-Focused Path to Healing

For example: an incredibly successful, independent young woman whose unmet need was for support due to having a neurotic mother. This led her to never ask for help, fearing she would look weak and vulnerable. Once a person who internalizes reaches a point of crisis and feels vulnerable and unsupported, they must become solution focused.

1. Acknowledge and Self Support: She has to ask herself, what need is not being met? I feel unsupported. As a competent adult, she has the "emotional maturity and cognitive ability" to give herself the support she lacked to give herself "a hug right now" and acknowledge the need.

2. Track the Seed Point: The next step is to reflect on why help was never ask for. By realizing this current pattern, the pieces of the puzzle will naturally fall into place, drawing the person back to the original incident in childhood the seed point where the pattern began.

3. Resolve and Rewrite the Pattern: Once the seed point is identified, the adult self can look back with reality (e.g.. :My mother loved me") and let of the old fear factor(e.g.. "I will never get my needs met"). This awakening is the healing.

Once the individual tracks the feeling back to its seed point the first time patten occurred in childhood the awakening and awareness itself begins the healing journey. The adult's cognitive ability and emotional maturity allow them to put the fear factor in its place, realizing that the childhood patten is no longer relevant to their successful adult reality.

This process can be compared to a battery that's overused and leaking; you go back to address the leakage points. Once that realization hits, the pattern is broken. The thought automatically shifts from :I'm not going to ask anybody for help" to "I need help, I'm going to ask so-and-so."

The awakening and the awareness itself is the beginning of the healing journey. It removes the avoidance mechanisms like keeping ever so busy to neglect oneself and allows the individual to stop resisting the very solution they need. It is about lightening ourselves with this deep knowledge.

  
Sister BK Monica,    
Brahma Kumaris, UK