I believe that the erosion of trust within families isn't simply a breakdown of the system itself, but rather a reflection of how we perceive and interact within that system. We often focus on the roles we play wife, mother, husband, father and the expectations that come with them. But beneath these roles lies something much deeper our spiritual essence. Recognizing this spiritual dimension. I feel, is crucial to building strong and lasting family bonds.

In my understanding, each family member is first and foremost a human being, a thinking and feeling individual These emotions and feelings, born from within, are what connect us to our spiritual selves. When I realize I am a soul residing within this physical body, playing these roles as a costume, my perspective shifts dramatically. This understanding, or lack thereof, shapes my interactions and ultimately, the atmosphere of my family.

When I identify myself solely as a wife, for instance, I naturally develop expectations of my husband. As a mother, I have desires and hopes for my children. This list of expectations can grow quite long, and if I am fortunate, some, maybe even many of these expectations are met. However, reality often differs from our ideals. When expectations remain unfulfilled, resentment can build. I might find myself constantly complaining. creating an atmosphere of discomfort and unease within the family. This discomfort creates distance between family members, and when they no longer find joy and solace in the family unit, it can begin to break down.

This is where the importance of consciousness comes into play. What state of mind must I cultivate to offectively fulfill my role? Roles are essential but how we approach them is equally crucial. We live in a world where, when expectations aren't met, separation seems like the only option. Yet, in India, and indeed in many cultures, marriage was once considered a lifelong commitment, a sacred bond. Now, we see increasing numbers of divorces, a reflection of our changing perspectives.

I feel that this shift highlights the need to reconnect with our spiritual selves. When we see ourselves as spiritual beings. as souls with an inner life, we can create a necessary distance from the things we dislike or don't accept in others. We recognize that every individual like a fruit with its peel comes with a unique personality, traits. habits, and ways of thinking. Just as we peel a banana to enjoy its fruit, we must learn to mentally "peel" away the unnecessary layers of personality to appreciate the core essence of the individual. This allows us to stay together, to understand that each person brings something valuable to the family, even if they also have aspects that we find challenging Just as an apple and a banana offer different nutritional benefits, each family member contributes unique qualities to the whole.

In my experience with Rajyoga meditation, I've seen firsthand how spirituality can transform families into places of comfort and joy. Meditation or simply cultivating spiritual values, creates an environment where family members want to return, to share and receive goodness. It is about creating that "Grihastha" ashram, that sacred household, that our ancestors knew. I recall a conversation with a friend who expressed a deep longing for emotional connection with her husband, despite receiving material comforts. He never said " love you" a lack that weighed heavily on her heart. This illustrates the importance of acknowledging and appreciating one another. We all crave acknowledgement and appreciation This need stems from an internal emptiness. often caused by a lack of attention in relationships. It costs us nothing to express our love and gratitude. These small gestures of appreciation and encouragement are forms of love.

It's a two-way street. Just as one person needs to express their love, the other needs to be open to receiving it even if it's expressed differently than expected. Some people are not naturally expressive, but that doesn't necessarily mean they don't love. We must understand that every human being has both visible and invisible aspects. The invisible aspects, the inner life, are often the most real. The visible aspects are temporary and transitory. Spiritual awareness helps us understand this deeper dimension of human existence.

My grandparents, for example, rarely expressed their love verbally, but their happiness and connection were evident. What is missing in many families today is that sense of "Grihastha" ashram, that sacredness within the household. Rajyoga meditation has the power to re-establish this sacred space within our families, because it allows us to reach a certain level of consciousness. a mental peace and positivity, which we can call purity. Purity is that state of mind where we experience ourselves beyond the physical senses and body, in a state of complete silence. It is from this place of inner peace that we can then interact with the world, sharing our love and care without disturbing our inner. equilibrium.

I believe that the fear of being exploited or seen as weak prevents many of us from giving fully. But we can never give too much love. Complete giving comes from a place of trust, trust in ourselves that we can give without expecting return it is this complete giving that allows the seeds of positive response to ripen in the hearts of others. When we give from this place of inner abundance, we become rich in spirit, and that I feel, is the true treasure.

BK Santosh
Director of Brahma Kumaris St Petersburg Russia.