By: Aruna Ladva
Source: The Daily Guardian https://epaper.
Dated: November 2, 2024
How we see ourselves is a complex picture that we acquire as we go through life’s experiences. We assume our social identity from membership in a specific social group, and that could be the culture we are born into, or something we sign up for, like a sports team. (Henri Tajfel and John Turner). We gain our sense of self from the profession we have and the clubs we belong to. In modern day parlance, we hear people say that they are looking for ‘their tribe’, to find where they ‘belong’.
Russel Belk argues that we develop a very intimate relationship with the things we buy, because what we buy extends the ‘self’, and almost becomes a part of us, to such an extent that whatever I own becomes ‘me’. People who strongly identify with their car, for example, feel a sense of personal injury, if the car is damaged or defaced.
How many times a day do we say something equivalent to ‘…that’s mine!’ – a particular chair, a parking space, a fountain pen, the car? We need to spend a little time to contemplate this, because it does not seem right to base a sense of self on anything that is temporal and temporary, because we are eternal. The possessions we have, the money we earn, the children in our care are all given to us in trust; to either care for and nurture, or to put to greater use in the service of humanity.
So, what is truly mine? The virtues are truly mine. Inside we all have access to peace, love, kindness, mercy, honesty, courage, wisdom, generosity and these cannot be taken away from us. Each one of us comes with a special particular virtue along with the others. Each of us will excel in one bright light. It is up to us to understand what that one special shining virtue is and to use it for the benefit of others.
Virtue does not diminish. Love, for example, is not something that finishes the more you use it. The more you use it the more it multiplies. We need to add virtue to every action. A task fulfilled with dullness and a stodgy sense of duty only calls attention to ourselves and pity from others. The same task done with lightness and happiness will also be noticed by others but on seeing that happiness they will feel inspired to emulate that. We can apply courage, enhance our wisdom, build inner strength, create will power, aspire to greater learning and all of this is everlasting – once learnt these things cannot be unlearnt – it is there in the soul.
The basis of all of this is thought. I am my thoughts; they are what is truly mine. Everything depends on how I think. Meditation is based on elevated thoughts. Meditation and elevated thought are the foundation of my attitude. Attitude governs feelings – so as is my attitude so will be my feelings towards the self and towards others. A ‘clean’ attitude comes from having positive feelings and loving good wishes for everyone that comes my way. Our actions are based on the thoughts and attitude, and our actions create our destiny. It is all in our hands.
If I can truly take responsibility for my thoughts, nothing and no-one will ever be a problem again. Managing and creating the most elevated thoughts will all come back to me – then I will really see who I am and what is truly mine.
Aruna Ladva is an author
and Rajyoga meditation teacher
based at the Global Retreat Centre,
Oxford, UK.
