A key requisite for having harmonious relationships is to adjust our nature to that of others. If there is a big difference in the natural inclination of two people and they make no effort to get along with each other, there is likely to be discontent and even a rupture in the relationship.

Having cordial relationships is easy when we are willing to accommodate others. But if we expect others to adapt to our ways, then it becomes difficult. Having an easygoing nature helps foster goodwill and amity. One who is easygoing can adjust without difficulty to different people and situations. Since they are not obdurate, they are able to change their way of thinking when required. An easy temperament also makes it easy to deal with problems, as there is acceptance of the situation, which allows for a calm exploration of possible solutions, rather than unnecessary resistance that brings anxiety, stress, or fear. Coping with and overcoming physical ailments also become easy when we take them in our stride instead of complaining or worrying about them. And last but not the least, our relationships become sweet. Being easy, which sounds like a simple and unremarkable thing to do, brings all these benefits. 

On the other hand, if we are inflexible, we will frequently have friction or conflict with others, and there will be little peace, happiness, love, or respect in our life. The root cause of such rigidity is ego. There is a spiritual technique for becoming free from ego, and that is to maintain our self-respect. When we have spiritual self-respect, that is, we are aware of the fact that we are souls, the children of God, and that purity, peace, love, and strength are our innate qualities, then we act on the basis of these virtues. Our elevated awareness leaves no scope for ego to colour our thoughts, attitude, and behaviour. When the majority of people in a group or community pay attention to maintaining their self-respect – with practice it becomes natural – then their relationships are harmonious. If they function as a team, their tasks are accomplished easily, because there is mutual understanding, cooperation, and a joyful and enthusiastic involvement in the work. 

Maintaining our self-respect also keeps us unaffected by the negative vibrations around us. How does that happen? When we have an elevated consciousness, our perspective too is on a similar plane and we do not pay attention to or get involved in petty matters. This keeps the mind free from negative influences. Such detachment may sometimes seem like indifference to some, but it is necessary for making prudent choices. A lofty point of view allows us to see the larger picture and make judicious decisions about where to get involved and to what extent. In a group, this not only spares us avoidable trouble but also gives others the space they need to be themselves. One who thus acts wisely wins the trust of others and becomes a cohesive force in a group.

BK Surya is a Rajyoga teacher
at the Brahma Kumaris headquarters in Mount Abu, Rajasthan.