By: Ken O’Donnel
Source: The Daily Guardian https://epaper.thedailyguardian.com/view/2193/the-daily-guardian/15
Dated: March 22nd, 2025

We are all born with an ‘ego’, that is a sense of self, but confidence is something that we develop. We may develop it early if we have parents who continually inspire and support us, or we may develop confidence as we begin to acquire talents and skills and find success in using them. When that confidence becomes imbued with the false sense of self, then what is experienced by others is arrogance, and often termed ‘ego’. A false sense of self is one whereby my worth is measured by my accomplishments, titles and roles that I play in the physical world. The true sense of self is the awareness of the consciousness, the soul, and is not made of the physical elements. That is when we can be said to be living in a spiritual awareness.

My own journey into spiritual awareness was sparked by my mother. When I was about 15 years old, she was in hospital having an operation. During the operation she needed an urgent blood transfusion. However, her blood type was rare, and blood could not be found quickly enough to prevent her body starting to shut down. She was ‘dead’ for about four minutes. They did resuscitate her and her blood transfusion was carried out. She later told us children what she had experienced. She felt as if she was floating away and it was the most peaceful and beautiful experience she had ever had. She was not a religious person, but she said that the whole event had left her completely devoid of the fear of death. In fact, when she did eventually, years later, ‘leave’ her body, no-one cried, because they knew that she would have moved on, unafraid. 

It was after she had passed on that I began my own journey. I had been fascinated by the story she told and had many questions to answer. If she could ‘see’ her body beneath her and it was not her, then who are we? I had a good education and finished it earlier than most and at 18 years old went on a quest to discover what was out there in the world, what other people believed in and if I could find the answers I was looking for. With very little money I travelled by land to London, and it took six months. This could be said to have been ‘ego’. I had very little money but was not worried about how I would survive. I had growing confidence and faith and felt like nothing could stop me. By the time I was 22 years old, I had visited 40 countries. I had learned about living and surviving and was not afraid of anything; that is the value of confidence. It was in London though, that I finally found the answers I had been looking for when I came into contact with the Brahma Kumaris.

In meditation we develop the awareness of who we are, but then we forget, if we pay more attention to what we are doing and what is going on, rather than who is carrying out the actions and what is going on in the consciousness. Ego, the false sense of ‘I’, makes us blind to our own faults and if there is any conflict with anyone, it will be all down to ego; to two people in disharmony based on the individual egos. In fact, it does not matter whatever our gender and personal physical circumstances are, we all have one deep thing in common; we are spiritual beings and inside us are the soft and loving qualities of peace and joy. Communication means, and is based on, the sharing of what is common. If we relate to others, aware of the true self and of the true other, then there will always be harmony and deep communication. If we are able to focus on what is real and true and durable, see the self as a spiritual being going through a human experience, we can separate from the ‘unreal’ in ourselves. To do this well, we need to connect with the Divine and see the self as an instrument of the Divine. This will quell all ego, or arrogance. Then we will be able to offer and share our experiences and insights in a way that will help others. It is also very important to learn the art of ‘pause’; take one minute each hour to centre. Then we become a detached observer of what is going on out there, and can focus on what is going on inside. The other 59 minutes will be more powerful, more productive; full of confidence and lacking any kind of ‘ego’ or arrogance.

Ken O’Donnell is an author 
and the director of Brahma Kumari's services in South America.