From a young age, I think I, like many others, carried within me a sense of existential questioning. It wasn't necessarily a direct search for God, but rather a quest for something deeper – the qualities of God, perhaps – within the context of everyday life and relationships. I yearned for an unchanging foundation, something constant amidst life's inherent fluctuations. 

Feelings, for instance, seemed so transient; I longed for love to remain steadfast, irrespective of life's inevitable ups and downs. Honesty and truth were also paramount to me. The impermanence of existence became strikingly clear when I was nine years old and my mother, who was also my teacher, passed away. This profound loss served as a stark reminder of the transient nature of the physical world. Witnessing this reality at such a young age prompted me to ponder what truly holds value when everything around us is subject to change and eventual disappearance.   

These questions lingered as I navigated my academic pursuits and religious teachings, yet I found myself unsatisfied with the answers I encountered. My search for enduring qualities extended to my relationships, as I aspired to be a good friend and daughter, always nurturing positive connections.   

At the age of 25, a transformative experience occurred in my home in Athens during an early spring morning. While reading about truth – the concept that truth is unchanging, synonymous with love, and ultimately, with God – I felt a distinct sensation, a pull focused within my forehead. My awareness of my physical self began to recede, and a profound realization emerged: I am the one who thinks and feels, residing within.   

I became aware of a gentle, subtle light, a presence that felt incredibly familiar. In its presence, I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort, security, love, and acceptance. It was an experience beyond intellectual analysis, a pure immersion in the moment. I perceived myself, the source of thoughts, in connection with this perfect, bodiless presence, existing beyond the physical realm.   

Through this unique "eye" of consciousness, I witnessed the physical world in rotation, emphasizing its constant state of flux. This highlighted the stark contrast between the changing physical world and the timeless, constant realm where I experienced a profound sense of home.   

This extraordinary experience, triggered by reflecting on the essence of truth, brought with it an answer to my long-held questions and a deep sense of fearlessness. The fear of death that had lingered since my mother's passing at a young age dissolved in the face of this newfound understanding of eternal existence.   

The impact of my mother's death had instilled in me a sense of loss and questioning about life's purpose. Despite the love and support of my father and aunt, that early loss had made the impermanence of life palpable. It prompted me to question the value of temporary things.   

This profound state of joy, love, and connection persisted for two weeks. It felt like a divine touch. As this energy gently subsided, I sensed an invitation to take an active role in my spiritual growth.   

During those two weeks, I had come across addresses of spiritual places. Though spirituality wasn't previously my focus, I decided to explore these paths. However, the first two attempts didn't resonate with me. Finally, I contacted the Rajyoga Center in Athens. The person on the phone felt familiar, and upon arriving at the center, the same powerful energy returned, signaling that I had found the right place.   

Brother Anthony introduced me to Rajyoga meditation through a seven-day course. From the very beginning, his words resonated deeply, particularly his emphasis on achieving perfection in relationships.   

This journey has led me to a profound understanding: relationships mirror our inner selves. Within each of us resides a true, perfect self, often obscured by confusion and ignorance. Our thoughts shape our reality, and when we identify with our imperfections, they seem real. However, with spiritual growth, we can learn to navigate these false identifications and connect with our inherent perfection.   

Anna Doiliani 
National Coordinator, Brahma Kumaris, Lebanon