By: Ash Patel
Source: The Daily Guardian https://epaper.
Dated: October 5, 2024
‘If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape 100 days of sorrow’ - Chinese proverb
The destructive force of anger is easy to recognise. The damage it causes is incalculable. What many of us find hard to understand is where the rage that bubbles to the surface actually comes from, and therefore we are unable to change the habit of becoming angry, despite our best efforts. If we succeed in holding the anger in, swallowing it, it will take immense effort to release. Retaining this ingested anger over a long period of time does untold harm to us and to those around us. We need to be able to recognise what is going on
and work on the level of the heart.
All anger comes from one particular habit that we all have, and that is of taking sorrow from situations and others. If we are able to change that habit into one of giving happiness then everything can change for us. The habit of taking sorrow takes many years to overcome, but does progressively get better and better, when we learn to know ourselves at the level of the heart, and hold such a clean space that we no longer hold on to the hurt and sorrow. There are five subtle forms of anger that are experienced on the spiritual journey at some time or another. These aspects of anger are rarely understood for what they are, but by recognising them and addressing them, sorrow and subsequently anger, can become things of the past. These aspects are: Disheartenment, Apathy, Quiet Frustration, Rejection and Trauma.
Disheartenment: When we begin to make spiritual effort and find that certain aspects of my nature that I would like to change, simply stubbornly remain, then we may become disheartened. It can lead us to give up hope of ever changing; and lose heart, enthusiasm and energy. Our spiritual endeavours become really hard work. Disappointment sets in and his is a form of anger turned inwards. To overcome this, we need to look closely at the value we add; our virtues, our skills and our honest desire to succeed.
Apathy: Disheartenment can lead quickly to apathy and tiredness. We can lose interest in anything that is around us and begin to disengage. We need to take power again and this is accumulated through a connection with the self at a deep level and a connection with the Divine power. To connect with the self, we can use the tool of journaling. To inspire the self, we can surround ourselves with people who are living their own change. Listen to success stories of transformation because they inspire us to carry on. We can encourage ourselves with love, kindness and gentleness, but we must also keep practising the spiritual disciplines with firmness and determination. To take power, we connect in silence to the Divine.
Quiet frustration: Sometimes things do not go as planned and situations come from left field and take us by surprise. This can result in a feeling that our spiritual progress is in jeopardy, and a quiet frustration sets in. For example, we may develop a health issue that stops us from being as fully engaged in everything as we were before. This can slowly erode our feelings of good wishes, and we start to disengage. We subtly reject situations and the individuals involved. We can fool ourselves into thinking that disengagement is simply the virtue of being detached, but it is not. Keeping oneself at a distance is not detachment. Detachment is holding good wishes, being present and yet not being affected by anything or anyone. This disengagement can bubble into hostility. The key to this is to begin the healing which only comes when we begin the practise of extended periods of silence. In these periods of silence, the heart can flush out the anger it has been holding.
Rejection: The avoidance of feelings is a form of rejection. We need to uncover what we are rejecting; the self, others, parts of our story that we do not like. Judging and holding on to something constitutes rejection and subtle forms of anger. We need to arrive at a point of no longer wanting to carry all this and want to change, otherwise nothing will change.Rejection connects with trauma.
Trauma: Sometimes we have uncontrollable reactions of anger. These are connected with a distant past trauma, perhaps from childhood, that we have not understood or dealt with.Spiritual understanding can do little to help in this, we need deep silence and space for it all to slowly settle. Anger can be dissolved, over time, with a connection in deep silence with the Divine. Daily practice with determination and an open heart, will give us the freedom we long for.
Aashish Patel works in IT and
coordinates Brahma Kumaris
activities at the Lighthouse Retreat
Centre, Worthing, UK.
