The Dream of a Life Without Restrictions

I once reflected on an interesting dream shared by the host of Light of Knowledge International. In the dream, she was living a life full of freedom, where nobody interfered in her life, questioned her choices, or restricted her movements. She could go wherever she wanted and enjoy herself without any limitations.

However, the scene changed when she faced a situation with several options and had to make a choice. Confused, she approached her parents and loved ones for guidance, but they simply reminded her that she had wanted freedom and now had the freedom to choose. This left her feeling helpless and made her reflect deeply on the meaning of freedom.

This experience raises an important question: What is true freedom?

Freedom and Dependency

When we talk about freedom, we often mean having the liberty to make our own choices without depending on anyone or being dictated to by others. However, to understand freedom, we must first look within and identify the situations in which we experience dependency.

For example, if I want to go on a vacation, I may need permission to take leave from work. If my leave is not approved, I may feel restricted. My happiness becomes dependent on someone else's decision. Similarly, whenever my plans or expectations depend on another person's agreement or approval, I may experience a sense of bondage.

Although I may believe that I am enjoying freedom, my inner state remains dependent on external circumstances.

Understanding the Real Bondage

Many people, including children and young adults, associate freedom with the absence of rules, discipline, and control. I once met a seven-year-old American child who expressed a desire for freedom because his parents and teachers were constantly directing him. He wanted to decide for himself when to wake up, sleep, eat, study, and work.

This reflects a natural desire to live without feeling restricted. However, to experience real freedom, we must first understand what actually binds us.

Rules and discipline are not necessarily obstacles to freedom. Consider traffic lights. When we are in a hurry, a red light may feel like a barrier. Yet, traffic rules exist for everyone's benefit. Imagine a road without traffic lights or regulations; it would become chaotic and unsafe.

Similarly, breaking rules for temporary enjoyment may appear to offer freedom, but we must also consider the consequences of our choices.

Breaking Free from Emotional Bondage

Our past experiences influence how we respond to present situations. However, the present moment will become our past tomorrow, so it is important to understand how we register our experiences within our subconscious mind.

Sometimes, we may appear to be free externally while remaining emotionally dependent on others. We may allow someone's words, behavior, or decisions to control our feelings.

Interestingly, this dependency often begins with our desires. When I insist that someone should not interfere in my life, but they continue doing so, I may become upset. My emotional state then becomes dependent on whether that person behaves according to my expectations.

I may want someone to be available whenever I need them, yet remain silent whenever I do not want their involvement. However, every individual has their own perspective and way of functioning. I can respect another person's approach without necessarily adopting it.

Guiding Without Controlling

This understanding is particularly important in parent-child relationships. Caring for, supporting, and guiding a child is different from controlling them.

As parents, we naturally want the best for our children, whether in their nutrition, education, or extracurricular activities. However, we may sometimes impose our own definitions of what is best without considering the child's wishes, abilities, or individual nature.

When a child does not follow our expectations, we may become worried, upset, or sad. Although we may feel that the child is controlling us, our emotional disturbance often arises from our own expectations and attachment to a particular outcome.

Every individual is unique, with their own identity, beliefs, potential, and choices. Therefore, we need to balance our responsibility to guide children with our understanding of their individuality.

Experiencing Inner Freedom

We can do our best to care for and guide others according to our understanding, while learning not to become emotionally disturbed when situations do not unfold as expected.

Spiritual understanding reminds us that we also have the freedom to release unnecessary emotional burdens and remain happy. We may wish happiness for our children and loved ones, but to share freedom with others, we must first experience it ourselves.

B.K. Sapna, Designation: Director of Brahma Kumaris, China