By: Paramjit Basra
Source: The Daily Guardian https://epaper.thedailyguardian.com/2026/04/03/e-paper-today-delhi-04-april-2026/
Dated: April 4th, 2026

We are living in a world of control. Great powers are trying to control other great powers. In the world of trade, everyone is trying to control profit and loss, for their own personal gain. Everyone is under the illusion that it is possible to control what is going on. Each one of us, in our own small, but very impactful way, is also playing the control game. Either we are being controlled by someone or some situation, or we are controlling others or manipulating situations for our own sense of safety- because we believe we can. All this does is leave us subservient to the outside world.

The reason for this is that we are depleted and almost empty of what we really need — wisdom, knowledge, love, spiritual attainments, spiritual powers, and divine virtues. Therefore, we try to control our external world to fill the void. No one likes to be controlled – we would all like relationships filled with love, respect, and acceptance – not controlling relationships. Yet even though relationships begin with acceptance and respect, slowly, over time we find that the other says, does, or dresses in ways we do not like. As we go along, we start introducing small ‘conditions’ on their behaviour; if they comply, we feel safe and in control, and if they do not, we feel as if we are being controlled. This happens because we are invested in the relationship for what we can get out of it, so it is inevitable that conflict arises. The relationship is doomed to failure. Then, some move on to another one and, for a while feel the freedom of the lack of control and the warmth of acceptance, but because they are still empty and searching for something out there to fill the void, they will gradually start the control game again. If I continue to think that I can control others, I will never be happy. This is why we also attach ourselves to possessions. We link our safety, sense of worth, and joy with the things we own. We even try to control our own bodies and try to defy the ageing process. All this springs from an identity crisis. We spend our time comparing, criticising, competing, commenting, and complaining.

What is needed is a deep look at the self. That takes a great deal of courage. Real control lies within the self. We need to shift our consciousness. A problem cannot be resolved with the same consciousness that created it. The control I want is meant to bring me happiness, peace, love, and respect. So, the question arises, “Who is the real me?”

When I arrive at the awareness that I cannot be the body, because it decays and dies, and when I understand that I am the being within, the one driving the body, guiding the body, expressing the self through words and actions, then I will no longer try to control others. I will understand that I am an actor playing a role, and so is everyone else. I do not have to prove anything, no one is a threat to me; I am the driver, the actor, the eternal being. When I practise this awareness regularly, the void I wanted to fill is filled with gentleness, peace, love, and joy. The anger and frustration begin to diminish. I regain the awareness of who I am, and of my intrinsic value. If others try to control me, it will have no impact because I will be responding from the real self within. What then happens is that the peace I feel in the face of threat or anger has a massive effect on the other. They cannot continue in anger, they will calm down. Peace is a powerful vibration and others respond to that. Kindness, respect, peace and acceptance create a vibration where people respond in the same way. If we want to control others, then the best way is to take the initiative of changing our vibrations, be in control of the self, and radiate the natural qualities of peace and love that we all have. When we become examples of this, then others are inspired, and they in turn inspire more people. If we want to change the world, let us change ourselves. We can make a difference.

Paramjit Basra has over 35 years in management and is based at the Brahma Kumaris Meditation Centre, Leicester, UK.