There was a time when people would say things about me that felt completely unrelated to who I truly was. I would wonder, “Why is this person saying this? You know I’m not this kind of person.” Yet, I found myself unable to respond.

These moments led me into deep self-questioning. I began asking myself: Is it something I am projecting? Is it what I am making others feel? Slowly, I started taking on other people’s perceptions as my own identity. It felt like I was absorbing their opinions and turning them into my character.

This created self-doubt. I began to question, “Is this who I really am? Why would someone say this otherwise?” That confusion became the starting point of my inner journey.

Beginning the Meditation Journey

It was during this phase of questioning that I turned towards meditation. I needed answers—not from the outside world, but from within. Meditation became a space where I could sit with my thoughts and try to understand what I was truly experiencing in real life. However, starting this journey was not easy.

The Challenge of Finding Time

One of the biggest challenges initially was finding time. I had a young child to take care of, along with household responsibilities. Managing everything while trying to sit for meditation felt overwhelming.

But I realized something important: if we start finding time, we eventually get time. The key is to consciously block time for ourselves. There is no other way. This is where self-prioritization comes in.

Learning to Prioritize Myself

Often, especially as women, we tend to place ourselves at the bottom of our priority list. We think our family is important, our child is important, and our partner and household responsibilities are important—and somewhere at the end, we place ourselves. That was true for me as well.

But things began to change when I started prioritizing myself. When I consciously began doing something for myself, meditation naturally came to the top of my list.

Facing the Reality of Meditation

Many people start meditation but leave it midway. One common reason is the expectation that meditation should immediately calm the mind. When that doesn’t happen, they question its purpose. I faced the same situation.

Initially, when I sat for meditation, my mind was filled with racing thoughts. Every day brings new challenges, and the moment I sit in silence, my mind immediately starts thinking about them. It was as if the mind was saying, “Let’s think about everything now.”

Letting Thoughts Flow

Through my experience, I learned something very important: meditation is not about forcefully stopping thoughts. It is about allowing them to flow.

In the beginning, thoughts will come—continuously and intensely. Instead of resisting them, I allowed them to surface. Slowly, with consistent practice, there came a point where the thoughts naturally began to settle.

Meditation is often described as “soul-chewing.” Just like what we chew is what eventually comes out, in meditation, whatever is within us will surface first. That is a natural part of the process.

What Meditation Brought Me

For me, meditation brought inner stillness and peace. At a time when I had many unanswered questions, I could not find clarity in the outside world. But by sitting in silence and focusing inward, I began to find answers.

It was a gradual journey. I started slowly, sometimes inconsistently, but over time, I picked it up again. Today, meditation fills me with calmness, stillness, peace, and a deep sense of love.

A Slow but Meaningful Journey

Yes, the journey was slow in the beginning. When the mind is chaotic, it feels difficult to sit still and concentrate. But that is exactly when meditation is most needed.

With patience and consistency, the mind begins to settle. The noise reduces, and clarity emerges.

Final Reflection

Meditation is not about immediate perfection. It is a process of understanding oneself. It begins with questions, continues through challenges, and gradually leads to peace.

All it requires is one decision—to take out time for yourself and stay consistent on the journey.

By B.K. Anita, Brahma kumaris, Singapore