We can care for others without being influenced by their flaws.

Compassion is often understood simply as being kind to others. We may feel sympathy for someone who is struggling, forgive someone who has made a mistake, or offer help to someone in need. However, true compassion begins with the self and must be guided by spiritual understanding.

Before we can genuinely support others, we need to learn how to care for our own inner state. Having compassion for oneself does not mean indulging every desire or excusing every weakness. Rather, it means understanding ourselves, recognising our mistakes without condemning ourselves, and making sincere efforts to change.

We are souls, and the soul carries impressions of its thoughts, attitudes, choices, and actions. This spiritual awareness encourages us to observe ourselves honestly: What am I thinking? What is motivating me? Am I acting from peace and love, or from fear or attachment? This kind of self-awareness is itself an expression of compassion.

A spiritually aware person does not need to be afraid of God. Instead, there is a reluctance to act in ways that harm the self or others. This results from a respectful awareness of cause and effect: every thought, word, and action has consequences. And love for God naturally inspires us to live in such a way that we do not create suffering for ourselves or others. Thus, love becomes a stronger motivation than fear.

But some weaknesses can take control of us when compassion and spiritual awareness are lacking: carelessness, jealousy, and hatred.

Carelessness can appear in subtle ways. We may know what is right but postpone doing it. We may become complacent about our spiritual practice or stop paying attention to the quality of our thoughts.

Jealousy arises when another person's success, relationships, or abilities make us feel diminished. Instead of appreciating their qualities, we begin comparing ourselves with them.

Hatred is even more damaging. When we hold resentment or hostility towards someone, we lose our inner peace and allow the other person's actions to determine our state of mind.

Having compassion for the self means not suppressing these feelings but understanding their roots and replacing them with spiritual awareness.

One of the most practical aspects of spirituality is the distinction between compassion and emotional influence. We can care for others without being influenced by their moods, weaknesses, or behaviour. We can understand someone's difficulties without allowing those difficulties to disturb our stability.

For example, if a friend is constantly negative, compassion does not require us to become negative with them. If someone repeatedly makes poor choices, compassion does not mean enabling those choices. Here, compassion needs to be balanced with spiritual authority. Spiritual authority does not mean exercising power over others. It means being strong in our own spiritual identity and values.

As a compassionate person, we may be gentle, but gentleness does not have to mean weakness. We can say “no” to someone without hatred. We can correct someone without humiliating them, and we can understand another person's weakness without being influenced by it. This balance allows our compassion to be mature rather than sentimental.

Detached love is a sign of such maturity. Detached love means caring deeply for others while remaining inwardly free. We see each person as a soul with their own journey, strengths, weaknesses, and responsibilities. We wish them well without trying to control them and without allowing their behaviour to disturb our peace.

The deepest compassion is seeing the spiritual potential in every human being — including ourselves. When we develop this vision, we become less judgmental and more understanding. At the same time, we become less easily influenced by negativity. Our compassion is accompanied by wisdom, self-respect, and spiritual strength.

B.K. Deepa, is a Rajyoga teacher based in Mumbai.