Meditation allows me to create space, and to take responsibility for my feelings and reactions.

By: B.K. Samantha Fraser
Source: The Daily Guardian https://epaper.thedailyguardian.com/2026/10/23/e-paper-today-delhi-24-october-2026/
Dated: October 24th, 2026

A reaction rather than a response shows that there is a loss of control. No one wants to lose their dignity and composure by reacting, even though we sometimes feel quite justified, because there is always an element of regret for having done so. There is always a reason behind a reaction, and it will depend on my beliefs and life experience as to which triggers will provoke a reaction. It is not the same for everyone. For example, a major trigger for someone could be seeing or hearing of some injustice. Injustice is the trigger for the strong emotional reaction, but looking deeper we may find that it is all to do with the feeling of powerlessness, not being able to intervene, unreasonable expectations of others, expecting others to do x, y, or z.

On a spiritual journey, we are moving from quick reactions to quiet reflection and choosing to respond in a way that is helpful to all involved.

The main reactions include anger, snapping, shouting, becoming defensive, or shutting down into withdrawal, crying, blaming, avoiding, retaliating, taking things personally, and many others.

If I fall into reacting in any of these ways, what is this telling me about myself?

1. There is a fear of some kind of loss. It could be loss of respect, identity, position, or my belief system has been threatened.
2. There is some unfulfilled need or desire. There will be many things I feel I need because until we are operating from full spiritual awareness there will be some kind of empty space inside that I need to fill, and if that does not happen, I will react.
3. There are attachments I still have to my ideas, my beliefs, about my safety (a feeling of deep insecurity).

If we look closely, we will see that the reaction is nearly always way out of proportion to the actual trigger. This is why it is useful to examine what is lying under the reaction.

One of the strongest reactions is when I judge, impose my beliefs, my perceptions, on others in any given situation. We keep projecting our version of ‘right’ onto someone else. When I erupt in anger, there is no space or time to choose to respond. The more I am able to understand my reactions deeply, the more I can choose how to respond. Many of us are even reacting to our devices; reading messages and reacting in the mind with waste and negative thoughts, and the person who sent the message is not even in the room.

How do we really go beyond?

First, I have to evaluate and assess the reactions that keep coming up; why am I reacting to that situation, that person? They are not the cause; they are the trigger.

It is important to begin to create space. To begin to do this we can simply count to five. That gives us those few seconds to slow the mind and create a space. Or take a few deep breaths to calm the nervous system.

Secondly, I can spend time doing things that give me energy.  We react because of a build-up or pressure of waste thoughts, negative thoughts, and this depletes our energy. Without energy, I will have no patience, no tolerance. If I create energy, through regular meditation, or a walk in nature, or spend time in creative expression, it will begin to give me time to see the space inside between my thoughts. There is always a space between one thought and another.

Third, learn how to recognize the other kind of triggers, the things that stimulate the strength of my original qualities. Love, peace, kindness, joy, and patience are already there inside to help me respond rather than react. I can build a reservoir of them and have a valuable resource for when I am challenged. We need to build the capacity to respond to the ever-increasing frequency of events that will hold many triggers for us.

Meditation allows me to create space, be very honest with myself, and take responsibility for my feelings and reactions. If I blame others, I lose the opportunity for growth. Every interaction is an opportunity to understand myself and others, but they are easy to miss.  

If I identify with physical appearance, roles and labels, I will definitely react to something or someone. We cannot please everyone, and if I can change the awareness of my identity, that goes beyond the physical, I will find it to be empowering because that is a constant and is independent of what people say or do. Spiritual identity Is based on truth. As soon as I remember that I am a spiritual being of light and soul energy, I can truly go beyond reaction. It is all about creating space.

B.K Samantha Fraser
teaches Rajyoga with the Brahma Kumaris and is based at the Global Retreat Centre, Oxford, UK.