For the past 14 years, my journey with Rajyoga meditation has been deeply transformative—not only for me as an individual but also for my relationship with my spouse. Looking back, I can clearly see how this practice has shifted my perspective from trying to change others to working on myself.

The Beginning of the Journey

My wife was the first one to begin this journey. During her PhD, when she was experiencing a lot of stress, she came across Rajyoga meditation through the Brahma Kumaris. She started practicing about a year before I did. Interestingly, she never insisted that I should follow the same path. Instead, she gave herself the time to experience it fully.

What influenced me were the subtle changes I observed in her behavior. These small yet significant shifts sparked my curiosity and eventually led me to begin my own practice.

Early Years of Marriage and Challenges

The first five years of our married life were joyful and fresh, as is often the case. Everything felt new and exciting. However, as time passed, differences in opinions and expectations began to surface. Even though there was an outer level of acceptance, internally, there was often resistance.

At times, it felt like there was no way to put a full stop to ongoing thoughts and discussions—only commas and question marks. Despite being capable in many areas of life, I realized I did not know how to apply brakes to my thoughts and reactions.

A Turning Point

When I started practicing Rajyoga, the shift did not happen overnight. But gradually, as I began to understand its ideologies, I realized something very important—I had spent five years trying to change my wife.

This realization became a turning point in my life.

I understood that meditation is not about changing others. It is about working on oneself. This simple yet powerful shift redirected all my energy inward.

Focus on the Self

Rajyoga meditation emphasizes focusing entirely on oneself. Instead of trying to change people around us—our spouse, colleagues, or others—we begin to work on our own thoughts, reactions, and behaviors.

One of the core understandings is that while all of us are fundamentally the same at the level of being, we express ourselves differently through roles, behaviors, and personalities. Accepting this diversity becomes easier when we internalize this awareness.

As I started practicing this, I realized that any change—whether related to my weaknesses or strengths—had to begin with me.

Understanding Before Expectation

A key learning in my journey has been this: Rajyoga meditation helps us transform ourselves and understand others.

Earlier, my approach was the opposite. I expected others to understand me first, and only then would I consider changing. This reversal created conflict and dissatisfaction.

But when I began focusing on understanding others, something shifted. I stopped questioning their behavior constantly. I accepted that everyone has their own way of thinking and acting—just as no two fingers are the same, yet together they create strength.

Managing Reactions and Emotions

Before this journey, I had a short temper. My reactions were often immediate and uncontrolled, especially with those closest to me. Whether it was family or even strangers on the road, I would react impulsively.

Through Rajyoga, I began to see this as a process—a journey rather than a destination. Slowly, with consistent practice, I developed better awareness and control over my responses.

A Shared Lifestyle

One of the greatest strengths in our journey has been practicing together. Having the same meditation techniques, similar routines, and a shared understanding created a strong foundation for our relationship.

It became a collaborative effort where both of us worked on ourselves while also understanding each other better. This created a balance and stability that supported us in all aspects of life.

From Expectation to Friendship

In many relationships, especially marriages, expectations tend to increase over time, which can weaken the bond. Initially, relationships often begin with friendship, but gradually that ease can fade.

With Rajyoga, our relationship rediscovered that foundation of friendship. By reducing expectations and increasing understanding, our companionship became stronger and more meaningful.

Today, after 20 years of marriage, I can say that this journey has helped us build a relationship based on mutual respect, understanding, and inner transformation.